Matt Williams: Rolling with the punches
Fighter, Coach, Mentor, Father
I couldn’t think of anyone better to kick off Rad Dads with than Matt Williams. He’s the man that has an infectious passion for Muay Thai and everything it can gift us individually and as a community. He truly gives a shit and is a true rad dad!
Tell us about yourself? What are some of the highlights in Muay Thai, coaching, and not-for-profit?
I am a 37-year-old former professional fighter, professional martial arts coach, and professional Dad. It would be disingenuous to claim the mantel of professional husband, as me and Lani (also a professional fighter) after 10 years of marriage will neglect moral and ethical standards to wrestle each other for the comfiest couch, steal the last piece of chocolate, and accuse each other of stealing avocados from the supermarket within earshot of the Coles security guard.
Together we own our gym Bones MMA in Torquay, teaching Muay Thai, MMA, and Grappling. We have been open for a year and a half now. Prior to that, I was at two Gym’s in Melbourne, and balancing my career running Chin Up Project, a not-for-profit working with at-risk teenagers.
My journey into the not-for-profit sector came after 10 years working in Victoria’s youth justice system. It frustrated me to see the patterns of recidivism, the lack of meaningful engagement, or suitable programs to address the social and environmental influences that served as the catalysts for young peoples offending behaviors, and I felt I had something different to offer in that space. Currently, I am acting in an advisory capacity and doing some consultancy in the sector.
In retrospect, it’s interesting to consider the organic progression that I had from a full-time youth worker to a full-time Coach. There are so many parallels between working with young people in the community and coaching them in the gym. Fight sports are just the perfect metaphor for overcoming hard times, with the old adages such as ‘get over the ropes’, ‘roll with the punches’, ‘pick yourself up off the mats’ affording opportunities for conversations that go well beyond the sport. It was certainly a natural transition for me and one that I derive a tremendous amount of meaning from. Many of my most treasured coaching moments have been in behind closed doors sitting on the edge of the mat with somebody who needed somebody in the corner at the time.
Some of the memories that I am most fond of from fighting are ones that involve my Son Marley, who has been there for much of the journey. Last year I took a last-minute fight in Thailand, slightly overweight, definitely out of practice, and about 17 years the senior of my opponent! Marley was there every step of the way, including as I was getting my hands wrapped, as I walked out to the ring, and even helping out in-between rounds. I have a very special memory of looking at him in-between the forth and fifth rounds as he was holding the ice pack on my leg, and forgetting about the fight for a second. At that moment I was just a Dad, so grateful to share that moment with my Son.
How old is your son now?
Marley is 6, going on 21. He is absolutely obsessed with Martial Arts and spends his time shadow boxing, wrestling the Dog, or kicking me in the leg when I’m on the phone.
Did becoming a dad make you lose your edge in the sport? Were you concerned about it?
As with any personal pursuit that demands sacrifice, the outcome has to be worth the means. For me, the long hours of training away from my Son were incredibly difficult, and I felt like I was missing out on many of those moments that we tend to take for granted. Dinner together, bedtimes - all of those moments you don’t get back, they were part of the sacrifice.
To this end, and a want to share in the process with Lani, I consciously gave less to my own athletic potential and began to shift my focus towards Coaching, as it was more forgiving in regards to being there as a parent.
How did your experience in Muay Thai affect the way you parent?
One of the most profound learnings I have derived from Muay Thai is maturing my own sense of morality; the beautiful balance the art teaches us in handling our capacity for malevolence and benevolence. It strips away ego and provides clarity as to who we are, illuminating more of our true selves in the face of defeat than in victory.
Muay Thai has valuable lessons for parents, particularly in the west, as to what living in a collectivist community can afford to a child's upbringing. The eastern cultural influences are useful in coming to terms with our own mortality, teaching us to live more fully in the here and now.
Muay Thai is a gift I graciously give to my Son.
How being a father affect the way you train and practice Muay Thai?
I’m not sure it has. Marley has essentially grown up in gyms, and he is most at home running around the class, or swinging off the ropes. Most nights he will eat dinner at the gym and get changed into his PJ’s. It’s an amazing way for a child to grow into themselves, surrounded by so many positive relationships.
What do you love most about Muay Thai?
On the surface, a bystander might regard Muay Thai as brutal, or even be repulsed by the violence! To me, Muay Thai is like a painting, or novel, or a view from the top of a mountain. I find beauty in all aspects of the art, but what I love most is the aesthetic beauty of a traditional Muay Thai fight. I watch Muay Thai most nights, in between classes, on the toilet, and in bed while Lani is reading a book.
What is the best thing about being a father?
The best thing for me about being a Dad was discovering true purpose. I thought life was pretty sweet before we had Marley, but having something in my life to live for beyond myself was the ultimate becoming.
Any tips for future rad dads?
Get your kids into Martial Arts!
It can serve as a road map to navigate the journey into adulthood, where mistakes are cherished and experiential life lessons are a precious gift. Find a gym where the culture aligns with your own personal parenting values by doing a trial class yourself, or ringing the coach and have a chat.
To learn more about Matt’s work visit Bones MMA, an amazing Muay Thai and MMA academy that Matt runs with his wife Lani and the team, and Chin Up Project, a not-for-profit organisation working with young people.
What an epic first interview! 👊